The delivery !

They say that all good things must end... my pregnancy was so good...that when i look back and compare it with motherhood ..wow..it was a fairytale..for poorly selfish reasons ofcourse... people were extra attentive, supportive and loving ... I was pampered at my work place and apart from being bloated all the time I didnt see what was bad in it at all... I guess you are getting the picture... but to come back to the point here... even that had to end...

Disclaimer: People who feel queasy & squeamish should go no further, for I am going to give a blow by blow account of my delivery here..

Sep 27th- My supposed due date -  I was happily blogging away about CWG, Suresh Kalmadi and the likes and didn't have any signs of any pain

Sep 28th: My last doc visit - Doc said "I can't believe this.. you still havent got any pain?!! Is this a Gaja Garbam or what (Is this an elephantine pregnancy?)" She then did a simple inducing procedure called stripping ..which was a bit uncomfortable and rather embarassing ..I felt a light pain in the lower back that evening ..but it wasnt the real thing

Sep 29th:

3:00 am - I was having a dream in which I was going into labour...It woke me up and I realized it was not just a dream & I was actually having real pains in my lower back... waited for the next 30 min thinking it would pass.It just became stronger and stronger. I decided it was time to wake up folks.

3:30 am - "Mom I think this is it.." She took it relatively calmly and went about making a drink for me...

4:00 am - I was sipping my drink and started having my labour pains earnestly. I was struck by the fact that how unlike it was compared to the movies. I wasnt writhing in pain exactly as they tend to show. I felt a breathlessness (if I could say that) every few minutes and a simultaneous pull at my lower back. We decided not to wake up K as he was sure to get tensed up which would not have helped at all!

4:30 am - Mom gave me a hot soothing bath and commented how flat my nipples were. We then woke up K.

5:00 am - Had a plate of hot idlis.K was aping around taking videos of me gobbling the idlis. I wouldnt have bothered eating if I had known all that went in had to come out.. thanks to enema.

5:45 am - Started for the hospital. This again wasn't the mad rush that I had imagined it would be :-) Reached the hospital in just over 5 min and admitted myself in the maternity ward.

Now I would have thought that having a loved one near you is the most sensible thing. But they refused entry to both K and my mom. And I was sitting alone braving my labour and the nurse did the admitting procedures. She then took me in and asked me to lie down to check the baby's position. This was the start of an ordeal of embarassment that will continue for the next 6 hours or so. I realized my doc had been really gentle when she had done the same thing till then. This nurse used all her strength in prodding and poking, and I was already screaming as if I was going to deliver then and there. She finally pronounced that it was just a 1 cm opening. She then gave me the enema and probably because I had irritated her too much, asked me to go in search of my room to use the toilet. There I was, holding my skirt up and worrying if I was embarassing myself and searching for the room. When I finally located my room I was almost in tears. I was already missing my mom and K while it was only 30 min since I left home. 

7:30 am - I was finally taken inside and made to lie down ..I guess in a labour room...My gynaec finally came in... the only smiling face around...I was still just 1 cm dilated...She broke my waters..and told me I will be a mess down there for some time...yuck...thank god I was not able to see it.. She asked me if I was able to bear the pain... I said yes I can...but probably she read something in my eyes and decided an epidural would make things better... she left the room saying that it will be some 8 more hours before I was fully dilated.. I thought ..What ?!! hughhhh nooooo....

8 - 9 am - They gave me my epidural finally and thank god the guy was friendly and was non-stop talking that I forgot about my pain..

9 - 10 am- Things felt better and my pain was dull.. I still felt my labour, but without the associated pain..

10:00 - 10:30 am - The pain suddenly started in earnest ...worse than before... and I felt like pushing ..and I didnt realize that this was the natural feeling one was supposed to feel... I thought I was going to pooh... and was telling the nurse on and on that I wanted to pass motion ..and I probably did too ..judging from her expression...

10:30 am - They increased the epidural dosage... and suddenly the duty doc asked a million dollar question to the nurses... did they empty my bladder ... and she got blank faces ... When epidural is given the lower body muscles tend to become sluggish and the bladder doesnt empty itself. It has to be done by inserting a catheter...When the nurses realized their mistake, I had already endured pain for over 1 hr(without having to), even though I had been given an epidural..

10:50 am - The duty doc was puzzled by my continuing pain and decided to examine me... she realized I had already dilated 10 cm by then and will deliver the baby soon whether they helped me or not... she said..   "You are about to deliver" ...Then started frantic calls to my gynaec... and when she ran in I was already hooked up wide and clear for her to work easily... None of the nurses thought to reassure me or talk to me.. I had to ask one of the nurses to please hold my hand...

11:15 am - My doc quickly gave me a local anasthesia and started cutting the vagina open so that the baby's head and shoulders can squeeze out easily.. I could just feel that she was doing without the pain... a part of me was happy that the wait was over ..and that I was going to deliver normally ...another part of me wanted to be patched up, the mess cleaned and to be soaked in a nice warm bathtub...While I was daydreaming the impossible detachedly, my active brain was trying to tell people around... GUYS I AM READY TO PUSH...

"Doctor I feel like pushing" ... to which my doc said... "No problem.. go on push.." .. now came the tricky part... I had no clue how to do it.. The instructor in the antenatal classes had said... when you feel pain then take deep breaths from your mouth... when the pain subsides start pushing...but she had never said how exactly to do it...
"Doctor how do I push"... If she thought I was mental to be asking such a question just then, she didnt show it..."Think you have not passed motion for last 3 days and then push"... wow... that was the simplest explanation one could give... and I started doing exactly that... "hmmmmmmphhhhhhhh..." 
"Good...but don't start shouting now...just push"... "Yes thats it push...push.."  People around me came alive suddenly and started coaching .. 

Then I gave a really big push......  "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmphhhhhhhhhhhhhh...aaaaaaaaaaa"
I suddenly felt a great relief ..I thought I had done it... "Great... the head is out... now push again" 

 :-( I started again...
The paed entered suddenly ... my doc asked him to help me push.. now I wondered how he would do that...
he stood on a platform that was near the delivery bed ...and started pressing my tummy down... Then again I pushed really really hard...
"hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmppppppppppppphhhhhhhhhhhh...........aaa" ...

And  there was a single cry from my daughter... "Its Rohini... " my gynaec shouted ...already naming her after the star in which she was born..It was 11:23 am.

The relief , the happiness and all sorts of mixed emotions clouded my eyes and when the paed brought her close to me I felt she was the cutest, pinkest , warmest living thing I had seen in all my life...Felt humbled that this was the culmination of 4 years of waiting and I kissed her...and called her by her name...

I also realized one more thing.. something that mothers through the ages must have realized at that point of time...

A woman is strong... when she really really needs it... reserves of strength from nowhere emerge and help her to tide over pain and all kinds of weaknesses...the trick is to just believe in herself :-) !!!