The breastfeeding saga!

Well to put it in simple words... Breastfeeding isn't simple ..atleast not for all first time mothers! If somebody says "I did just fine the moment my baby was put to the breast" , then they are probably the lucky few who can confidently say that...While it is not exactly rocket science, it is not that easy either! You need quite a bit of practise and if both mother and baby are attuned to each other, then it is the greatest symphony in the world!

I was super excited about feeding my baby ... soon after my delivery the nurse put her to my breast..and voila! she found out that I had inverted nipples... She was super sarcastic when she said "Well,,how do you plan to feed her with this??" This... just after the exhausting task of delivering ...was a serious blow to my confidence..

After going back to my room, I tried to feed her in earnest in the sitting posture and I failed miserably...While it was somewhat better lying down, I wasnt getting the hang of it either. My little sweetie even though she was a just born baby tried her best to suck, but wasnt able to get a foot-hold..err.. a mouth hold if you can call it that. I was slowly panicking .... I was literally starving my baby and didn't know what to do !!! One of the nurses suggested using a nipple shield .. this I didn't want to do because I knew it will cause sore nipples which will again not help in lactation...I refused...

The next day the head-nurse came in and advised on  a nipple shield, without even examining my breast. By that time I had started pumping milk using a hand pump...this was probably one of the best things I had done at that time..this helped my supply...but this caused another problem which I didnt realise then - Engorgement. The supply must have been good, but as a hand pump isnt as efficient as a baby sucking, I could give her just 1 or 2 spoons of milk. This caused further anxiety and forced me to think that I was not producing enough milk.. Nobody thought to check my breast ....it was so heavy with engorgement and was very painful when I pumped...I thought this was how it was supposed to be...


Things took a turn for the worst after our homecoming.. I was pumping and pumping the whole day (and night) and didn't even get to look at my new-born properly... I was halfway between crying and yes,you guessed it ...pumping. Normal things like eating and sleeping myself just went out of the window. Then it suddenly dawned on me that I can't keep doing this for the rest of the year or so that I had planned on breastfeeding. When I finally met the LC in my area, she took one look at me and sent me immediately to a lactation centre. Another friendly soul there helped with the engorgement and fever. After 3 whole days of elation, excitement, relief, pain, anxiety, engorgement and fever,I slept peacefully that night while my mom gave formula to the little one.

What followed was a brief period of healing, pain again when I started using the nipple shield which seemed the only way out and then healing again after we, my daughter and me (seems like a miracle now) finally got the hang of things.


The nipple shield helped initially but caused so much pain and soreness, that the nipple used to bleed after every b/f session. To the uninitiated ....the word "shield" is so deceptive... It didn't do anything of that kind to me when I was using it... this silicone nipple should be used only for 2 weeks to kick-start the breastfeeding and then was to be replaced with the original. Sadly I had used it for more than 6 weeks by sheer ignorance and there seemed no way out.  Dr. Padmini Balagopal of MILC was a godsend to me then, when I fell back to the LCs for help and guidance. She made sure my daughter latched on to the breast and not to the shield then on and the rest, as they say, is history.

It might be surprising to many that I had placed so much importance on breastfeeding and thought it necessary to write a post on it. For some new mothers in my position, it would have been simple enough to just switch to formula and remain guilt-free even then. I don't dispute the argument that formula feeding might just be the perfect solution for some mothers who are genuinely unable to produce milk. But if you do seem to have a good supply to begin with, you should atleast give it a chance for the first 3 months. Normally all feeding problems sort out after those critical 3 months.

The child connects with the mother in more than one way while breastfeeding..the milk nourishes and strengthens, the closeness with the mother enhances the filial bond and the skin-to-skin contact seals this bond. It is not a coincidence that the mother feels so much more for the child than the father and the child runs to the mother first in times of need and reassurance. It is all down to those first few weeks after delivery and the bond that is created through that unique and almost mystical connection.

To all those first time lactating mothers, just hang in there..things can only just get better..And remember, when your child cuddles upto you all sleepy and full with milk, you will feel that all the trouble you underwent, is probably just worth that little half smile !